Who Are You, Really?

#Searchingfortherealyou

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

"I am a perfectionist. I can’t help it… I stay awake at night thinking about issues at work. I don’t sleep well."

"I am the CXO – I feel the weight of the decisions I need to take. It’s a burden. I want to be more free at work, but I can’t, can I?"

"I’m not good enough. What’s the point in aiming high when I know my limits? I don’t want to move up; I just want to put my head down and do my job."

"I left my job after 20 years. I don’t know who I am anymore."

Do you notice the "I am" statements in these conversations?

Over years of coaching conversations, one thing has stood out: identity is at the heart of every discussion.

How we see ourselves—what we believe we are, the stories we tell ourselves, and how these stories shape our lives—dictate the way we think, act, and make choices.

The Power of Identity

Most of us have a primary identity that dominates depending on the context. At work, you may see yourself as a leader. At home, you may be a parent. In social settings, you might identify as the entertainer, the introvert, or the advisor. But often, there is one dominant identity—usually tied to our work or profession—that overshadows the rest.

What’s even more striking is how we tend to fix our identities based on context. You might be a nurturing mother at home but a no-nonsense taskmaster at work. You might be playful with friends but reserved in professional settings. The problem? We rarely allow the skills, strengths, and perspectives from one identity to enrich another. We create rigid boundaries that prevent us from applying learnings across different areas of our lives.

Pause and Ask Yourself:

• When you introduce yourself to someone, what do you say you are? What is your dominant identity?

• Is that truly who you are, or is there more to you?

• What does being "you" mean, and how would it feel to be introduced to all your selves?

• Which self is helping you, and which one is holding you back—at work or in life?

• How can your various selves work together to bring out the best in you?

If this resonates with you and you’re curious about exploring your real identity, let’s talk.

Coaching offers a space to reflect, challenge old narratives, and discover new possibilities for how you see yourself—and how you show up in the world.